Put the Sheep in the Fryer

Laughter has always been a staple at our house. More often than not that laughter has been directed at me and my poor hearing. The following incident occurred several years ago when Leigh and Chris were living at our house on Cooper Ridge while they were building their dream house just a quarter-mile down the driveway. Leigh had been to an athletic event down the mountain and was returning with some friends in their car. I was home alone. The phone rang (this was long before I had a cell phone). I hated to answer that home phone because I couldn’t hear (long before I had hearing aids, too); everything was garbled and weak to my ears. It was especially hard for me to understand Leigh on the phone as she talked so fast and tended to run her words together. I did recognize that it was Leigh I was talking to.

“Dad, I need you to do me a favor,” she said. (Actually, she had to repeat that, but I did pick it up on the second try.)

“Okay, what do you need,” I said trying to hide my annoyance that she had interrupted my bird watching.

“I want you to put the sheep in the fryer,” she said. (Or at least that’s what I heard.)

“WHAT?” I said, obviously amazed at such a request.

“PUT THE SHEEP IN THE FRYER.” (It came across the same way even with her raising her voice.)

“PUT THE SHEEP IN THE FRYER??” I asked, obviously astonished.

“NO, DAD, NOT SHEEP; WE DON’T HAVE ANY SHEEP.”

“WELL WHAT THEN?”

“SHEEPS, SHEEPS,” she shouted (or so I heard).

“I’M STILL HEARING SHEEP,” I replied, “BUT SHEEPS IS NOT PLURAL FOR SHEEP.” (I can now detect uproarious laughter in the background.)

“DAD, IT’S THE THINGS YOU SLEEP ON – SHEETS!!”

“SHEETS?” I replied, still confused.

“YES, YES, YES, DAD. IT’S SHEETS!!”

“YOU WANT ME TO PUT THE SHEETS IN THE FRYER??” (I’m still astonished at such a request.)

“NO, DAD. PUT THE SHEETS IN THE DRYER. IT’S THE MACHINE NEXT TO THE WASHING MACHINE!”

“OH, THE DRYER. DO YOU WANT ME TO PUT THE SHEETS IN THE DRYER?”

“YES, DAD. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!”

“WELL WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?”

“DAD?”

“WHAT NOW?”

“I LOVE YOU DAD.” I heard that.

“LOVE YOU TOO, BABE.”