Haleigh’s Getting Married

It’s nice, when I start running out of things to write about, to have other writers in the family. And Haleigh may be the best of us all. With her permission, I’m going to re-post her FB post about her upcoming wedding. It says a lot about Haleigh’s growth since her mom’s death and also a lot about Leigh.

Leigh Cooper Wallace oh boy. I’m getting married this Sunday. That’s a wild thought. I was not one of those girls that spent my childhood dreaming of my wedding. I didn’t want to be a bride or a princess; I wanted to be a pro athlete. I wanted to be as strong and as athletic as all of the boys, not as pretty as all the girls. Even if I had my wedding planned in a dream journal, I would have thrown it away the day my mom died. I was 16 and nothing bad had really ever happened to me. I lived a privileged life and had parents that loved and cared about me. I saw stories on the news and one of my friends in elementary school lost her dad, but I was certain that my family was immune to tragedy.

My mom got sick on Friday and was gone Monday morning. I didn’t say goodbye. I didn’t know she was dying. I didn’t know that I wasn’t going to have a mom at 16. I guess what I mean is that I was shocked that this kind of tragedy was real. It was palpable and I was holding it in my hands and I didn’t want it or even know what to do with it. It made me realize that tomorrow is not written on an IOU in your pocket; it is not yours to have, and it can be snatched from you in the blink of an eye.

After she died, I stopped expecting things that you are told as a child you will have. I stopped expecting to graduate high school; I stopped expecting to have a college experience and get a degree; I stopped expecting to have a career I was proud of; and I sure as hell stopped expecting to get married.

Then I met Robert Parker. Those expectations did not come back overnight. We didn’t immediately want to get hitched or start planning a life together…but we sure as hell fell in love. We are better together. Over the past few years with Rob, I have noticed more and more of my mom come out in me. I dance like her in the car, I grunt like her when I clean, I get a fire in me when I see new muscles, I have a slight caffeine dependency, I cry at TV shows and movies when no one else is crying, I have to tell you whether I want to see a movie after the preview, I eat hot tamales like there is no tomorrow, I laugh at myself more than anything…but more importantly, I am honest, independent, hard working, strong, confident…..

I am not just bragging about myself, even though if I am it’s because I learned that from my mom too, LOL. I am just noticing that my mom raised me to be the type of person that could graduate high school, go to college, get a degree, have a career, and get married. All without her directly by my side. She is still with me through all of the qualities we share, and I think my love for Rob is the biggest one. Without her example of love and commitment, I would not be getting married on Sunday. Without her teaching me to be independent but also to know when I need help, I wouldn’t be getting married on Sunday. Without those four years of the darkest depression and the biggest hole in my heart, I wouldn’t be getting married on Sunday!

Those 16 years with my mom taught me so much, but the 6 years without her have taught me more. All of the things she taught me helped me get through her death, and will help me be a good wife. I miss her and wish she could be standing next to me on Sunday, but she is every part of me, so she will be there.

This post might not make much sense to you, but like I’ve said before, this is the way I say what I need to say where I feel like my mom might see it. Sounds delusional, but I can tag her and that means something to me.

End quote.

Well, Haleigh, I think she knows, and I’m sure you’ll feel her presence on Sunday and at all your special moments to come. You’ve come a long way in the past six years, and I’m proud of you. Love you Babe.